Downtime

Haven't updated my blog for the longest time. Sorry, but was not in the mood, until now. It's a Saturday shift..well, technically, it's Sunday early morning. I did not swapped with anyone..figured I need the rest anyway, plus the fact that Mr. Big had a Christmas thingy with his other group of friends, so that means we would not able to go about and wander out the entire Saturday afternoon.

Well, the Troopers spent a glorious 4-day vacation last Thanksgiving, that's November 24-27. We went to Hundred Islands, and then onwards to Baguio. It was really a lot of fun, island hopping in Pangasinan,having an island all to ourselves, and drinking beer,( I really can't remember the last time I ever enjoyed drinking beer until that moment in the sand) and then get to tour Baguio in just one sitting. Save that incident where Alex and I got into a stupid arguement right in front of Baguio Cathedral, (he called me a spoiled brat!), we ended up not talking to each other for the rest of the trip...but eventually,we spoke to each other on the way home. Over all, the trip was fun..Kit and Carmela were able to join us...there were alot of hassles before this trip finally went through. Money issues, family issues, personal issues... K again is absent from the outing. But we did got a juicy bit about K that made us think twice..hehehe..


Anyways, here are the photos of our tryst....


















I'll just post the other pics, as well as the pics from Baguio next time.

December has come. but for some reason, I really cannot feel the season anymore. I used to remember that I love the smell and feel of Christmas in the air. The cold breeze on my cheek as I step out at night. i don't feel that anymore. The only cold air I feel is the freezing air-conditioning at the 32nd floor. It's been raining for the past few days. So bummer. Suddenly December seems a bit bleak this year.


P.S. January 1, 2014 To protect the identities of all people who I carelessly blogged, I have edited the names out on this entry. Apologies for any trouble that I may have caused.

Just Another Day

So I have decided to change once again my blog template... My previous one was messed up and I have given up trying to get all the text lined up properly... right now, I'm still having problems trying to put my cool counters to appear properly, and to come up with a better quality picture.

Watched Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire last Thursday. Goblet is my favorite book in the series and the first book I've read as well. I remember borrowing it from Unwell. There were a lot of missing scenes from the movie that might be really essential for the next part of the series. They solely focused on the Tri-wizard tournament. I enjoyed some of the scenes. It was good seeing it live on the movie screen, but then again, I would prefer to read the book. The movie ticket is expensive. Almost 200 bucks...the seats were comfy..and I was surprised to discover that the armrests at Greenbelt can actually be lifted. I was surprised to find my right one raised up...I'm really not sure who made it that way, and why. I'm pretty sure that it was done half way the movie is run.

Well, the Troopers are planning out an outing this coming thanksgiving weekend. It's this week but so far, plans are a bit vague. For one thing, outing means spending money...and budget is kinda tight with some us right now. For me, well, there is the incentive.... I really hope our outing will go through since it's a waste of such a long weekend...

Can't believe that November is coming to a close soon.. it's December and Christmas decors are popping everywhere...not to mention Christmas songs being played in department stores and malls too. Time to plan my Christmas shopping list and of course, I'm counting on the 13th month bonus that I will soon receive. The lack of one thing, another can fill in.

One more time

Txtin3---1
Originally uploaded by mramos.

So, Alex took my ranting seriously about the previous logo/postcard. He made me another one. Well, it's more simple, but classic. Unlike the other one where it's a bit tacky with all the flowers.

I actually went to the gym last Saturday. Keith convinced to me to go and try out a free day's worth of workout at Slimmer's World. Now, my joints are aching. We spent the whole day there, and I was actually pooped afterwards, I can barely walk.

I might consider enrolling but I figured that the location is a bit way off from the route I usually take to go home... maybe this is a sign.

There's something bugging me as I trudged down Ayala Ave that Saturday early evening with Keith. I pondered over that thought quietly as I made my way home, up to this moment. I don't know... Grrr..I really hate this feeling! Once again, I have to learn to keep a promise to myself.

Great Expectations

Txtin, originally uploaded by mramos.

I'm counting the days till December comes, till Christmas comes, till the year ends and I have to decide where to go from here...

Guess what... I was being awarded E-rep Excellence Award, first ever for our account.
As you know, I've been selling internet service for more than a month now. I was awarded Top Performer about 3 weeks ago... Now, I was chosen as E-rep Excellence Awardee for the month. I was not really expecting that award anymore because I was not able to meet the conversion rate of 35%. I only got 34. My sched ad is not that great. Because of my 8pm shift, I was late like every other day. My AHT is totally a dud. I have the highest in my team. The only thing that I can actually be proud of, are my QA scores which I have to say are so far a perfect 100! I was surprised when Jimbo came over and congratulated me in advance for that award. Then he began to tell me that I was the one they nominated for that award, even if I have a lot of flaws in my stats. I actually made a committment of course, that I would not be late anymore since my shift is already from 9-6. I was able to come to work on time for a straight week! The only thing left to work on is my AHT. Jimbo is putting a bit of a pressure on me to lower my AHT. So, I've been trying but today I ended around 13:28. I am targeting atleast maybe around 10:30 by next week. Then, both Jimbo and Kris told me that they will start delegating additional tasks for me to prep me up for (gasp!) the SUPERVISORY LEVEL! Jimbo even gave my first task which is to make a report for the outcome of this week, to be submitted this coming Monday. Talk about the pressure. I really have to live up to the expectations of my supervisors and my co reps as well. I really have to learn to exercise authority now, they said. I'm really happy of course that they are believing in me, but I just hope that I wil be able to prove that I really have what it takes to be an E-rep Excellence Awardee and maybe, just maybe, a future sup even.

See, Alex made me a sort of, a logo postcard commemorating my achievement. How sweet of him... Although it's kinda too girly for my taste and too flowery (what the hell is he thinkin'?), and the pictures that he used were not the best ones ( I have better pics!), I still appreciate it. (I have to! hehehe!) Really, I do.

Of course the rest of my friends were happy for me. Thanks to Jaggy for the words of encouragement.

By the way, I am Php6000 bucks richer..... Thanks to PeoplePC! hehehe!

Song of the Moment

Shot taken at Tokyo Tokyo. I will miss hanging out on a Saturday...



I have been searching for the lyrics of this song for the longest time, and now, I have found it...or actually Ami was the one who found it without effort.

So here goes:


Take This Love
by Sergio Mendes
album:
I know what you're thinking
Your eyes give you away
We've been talking all night long
And there's nothing left to say
It's a mutual emotion
Nothing's standing in the way

I've got this feelin' babe
That this was meant to be
You've been playing hard to get
I've waited patiently
It just keeps getting harder
There's a point of no return
'Cause the heat is in the moment
And the moment's in your hands

CHORUS
Take this love and let the night begin
(I want to give it all to you)
Time for you to show the way you feel
(You know how long I've waited)
I need a reason, a meaning in my life
So open up and take this love tonight

Too many wasted nights of hollow victories
But I know this time is diff'rent babe 'cause you mean so much to me
You're the answer to my question
And I need the answer now
'Cause the heat is in the moment
And the moment says it all

CHORUS
AD LIB
CHORUS

CHORUS 2:
Take this love and let the night begin
( I'll give it all to you!)
Time for you to show the way you feel
(You know how long I've waited!)
I need a reason, a meaning in my life
So open up and take this love...

Now, A word from the newest Weekend Rep...

I am currently here at work....Yup, it's a Sunday morning...early morning, so that means that I went to work on a Saturday night. Yes, you got that right...on a Saturday night! On a regular shift! (groan!) Yes, this is actually my first ever regular shift on a Saturday night. I am now a full pledged weekend rep. Hmp! Where did all those 2 years of loyal stay here at PS go? So much for seniority... I am actually at a new account right now...My third week tonight. It's a big leap for me since I left my comfort zone at Experian, where, I was living the very ideal life of an ATL ( as in NO calls twice a week, if you're lucky, you can go sometimes up to 4 times a week!), everyone looks up to you, everyone respects you and all... Then, out of craving for change, and due to peer influence ('tara na...sabay sabay tau mag ATP!'), I decided to join the bandwagon of ATP happy people and here I am, at a techy account, Earthlink, well, it's People PC actually, but techy nevertheless, and doing sales... Ha! Sales! Even though it's inbound sales, I never really imagined myself doing those sales pitches...but now I have to do it, everyday of my stay at here at PS. Thank goodness, even though I have to suffer retakes all throughout that entire training, (retake for the final exam and call certification), I can say I am doing good so far... My first QA is----- Tadah! 100% and so far, I was named top performer for the day last week! I deserve a pat on the back for that! Hehehe!

But that still does not change trhe fact that I am still a weekend rep...my restdays are thursdays and fridays. Thank goodness, I'll be on leave for the next 2 Saturdays... So that means, I just have to endure going to work on Sundays, but that's ok. I can live with that. I really thought when I woke up this morning that it was a Monday....but I really have to convince myself that I am going to work for Saturday shift, not Monday.... (drats!)

What did I do to desreve these breakouts on my face?????? One lesson to be learned..never ever, try a new product that is too good to be true..not all expensive products are right for your skin...sigh...hope this will all go away soon... I really can't take it!

I come to realize something (me and my neverending realizations), that I have to start going home....ALONE.

My Wonderwall in this Half-Life

I have to say..."Wow, can't believe it's already October....!"

This song suddenly crooned out of my headphones while I am here, spending my restday Thursday surfing the net... I also have another song that's playing on my mind right now.. both songs are old, but I still like it.
I'll just write more about my first week on the floor as a sales rep on my next entry... The field I dreaded the most before....Feeling a bit out of the blue right now, might be coming down with a cold, probably because of walking under the rain last Tuesday morning.... I really have to remember to bring an umbrella the next time..or maybe I should've accepted the offer for the underwear...(hehehe! 'll keep that to myself..)

"Wonderwall"

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

************

Half-Life

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again


I just realized, (for the nth time, I guess) that its so amazing how the feeling of just being inlove can really change your outlook in life.....it is a really delightful feeling!

I Kissed Dating goodbye...(well not entirely!) and others...

Been reading the book that lola Carms gave me 2 Christmas(es)ago. It's I kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Yup...It took me about 2 years to get to finally read the book entirely. I got to read a few chapters back then but I never did got to finish it. I am almost down to the last few chapters and I have to say that although the author (which is cute by the way), have these idealistic views about how a righteous relationship should be, he has some pretty good points about how you should view romantic relationships and even if I know that I really won't be able to really follow what he has written down (on this book you really have to avoid being in a relationship if you are not intending to end up in marriage), it did helped me change my perspective when it comes to romantic interests. For example, I have decided not to dwell on the fact that I'm still single. I've learned to focus my singlehood into more enriching activities. (I'm still thinking what those activities should be..) In any case, I've learned to really not waste my time moping and sour graping why after 2 years, I'm still not able to find anyone to hook up with formally.

*********
The weekend is coming to an end as I finish writing this entry... I'm finally shipping out of Experian, which has been my account for the past two years and to which I know all the terms by heart and could speak out the spiels even if I am asleep....My comfort zone. I'll be training for Earthlink, well, it's People PC actually, starting tomorrow, and I'll say that there is no turning back. I'll be with some of my friends, Kat, Ami and Jaggy. Alex signed up for the transfer as well, but for some reason, Aya and Rod did not make it, and retention does not want to give away some of its agents. Kaka, on the meanwhile, took off to Expedia without me. Hmm.. Although for the first few days of training, my schedule will be basically the same, 8pm-6am, I'm now beginning to wonder what my shift would be once I begin taking calls. I really hope it's nothing too drastic like I'll suddenly be on the morning shift or something. I'm certainly going to miss someone.

Spent the day watching the vcds I bought for 99 bucks each. I bought 3. Alex recommended I watched his favorite movie of all time, A Few Good Men. Although I was very interested in watching it, I was also expecting to be probably half bored by it especially at the start of the movie. But I was wrong. I really liked the movie...Very much. I liked the ending when the verdict was read out, and sadly, the 2 officers were dismissed and discharged. Jack Nicholson was great...And Tom Cruise is adorable. Thank goodness that the movie did not include any romantic plots between Tom and Demi Moore's characters. I also got a copy of my fave episodes of Sex and the City. It was where Carrie celebrated her birthday and the other was where she modeled for a fashion event and tripped on a runaway. I really love it! :) I still have to finish Stand By Me, which I have read as a book as well by Stephen King.

My highschool friends are planning a reunion on October 1. We've been sending updates in Friendster through the bulletin board and so far, the number of attendees are growing. My name is actually on top of the list and as I read the other people who were added I came across the name I was not expecting. Hah! My ex,who will be named *Unwell, who I never saw or heard from, for more than a year now. I suddenly got a strange feeling inside me. I felt compelled not to go all of a sudden. It's not that I'm still hung up on him or something (I am so over him ages ago..Please!) Its just that I really don't know how to act around him or towards him. I just feel that it's going to be strange, to be seeing him again, and worse, with people who were witnesses of our previous romantic relationship.

I think I would just like to go to that Nina concert after all......

I'm really having the jitters here about starting anew on Monday for Earthlink..Especially with its effect in my life. I pray to God that everything would turn out right.



* I have decided to give out codenames for those had/have/might have any romantic links with me, as to protect their identities while I write down the most absurd things about them....

Crossroad

Experian or Expedia? To stay or to move on??? That is the question that plagues me right now and I only have about 2 hours to decide......

For a Love that never was and For the two years that seem not like it...

years, originally uploaded by mramos.

For the work which seemed so trivial, but has given me so much more:

Ok, so I have been living the nocturnal life for more than 2 years now... (just turned 2 last September 1) Because of that I probably earned more than 100 thousand by this time, bought a couple of high-end gadgets with those earnings, met people who became special, I know who I will never forget , travelled to places with people other than my family,able to buy the things I want, got my first credit card, got into debt because of that, discovered myself, found out I can be a bitch too, was able to discover the talent of multi-tasking (such as eating while talking to a customer; listening to a customer while making small talk with your friends) fell inlove (i think), learned to rationalize who might be wrong for me and who might be right, is trying to learn how to accept that fact....

I can go on and on with the things that I unraveled because of working at PS, but this blog would not be enough for that. I sure am thankful for this opportunity that God gave me.

******

...and for the love that will never be (because I say so, ok?)

HOW CAN I FALL?

Give me time to care, the moments here for us to share
Still my heart is not always there
What more can I say to you

Could I lie to you, Im just too
weak to face the truth
Now I know I should make a move
What more can I say

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me
reasons

When you just wont give me
reasons at all

When all faith is gone, I fight
myself to carry on

Yet I know of the harm I do, what
more can I say to you

Now I hold this line, I know the
choice to leave is mine
I cant help what I feel inside

What more can I say

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me reasons
When you just wont give me reasons at all

Ill follow through, Ill see I do
When the time is more right for you

Ill make that move, and when I do
Will I doubt again, the way I do

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me reasons at all

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me reasons
When you just wont give me reasons

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me reasons
When you just wont give me reasons

Just wont give me reasons
Just wont give me reasons at all

How can I fall, I fall, I fall
How can I fall for you

How can I fall, how can I fall
When you just wont give me reasons
When you just wont give me reasons

The Galera Expedition

Just got back from Puerto Galera... Had fun with some of the Troopers, although Kaka (yes, we already made up!) and Rod were not able to join us, we still managed to enjoy ourselves silly. The trip was impromptu... We were supposed to go to Majayjay Falls at Laguna., but because of the weather, and raging emotions (hehehe!), the group agreed to go to Puerto Galera instead. With a limited budget and hoping against hope that it was not raining there (it was raining cats and dogs in manila, with a possible storm looming ahead), our group of 6, (with Alex the lone guy..), braved our way through traffic, sleepiness, and sea sickness to our white sand beach getaway. Here are the evidences of our weekend spree:






















There's only one thing I want to say: "sana maulit!"

One Fine Day...

....And I thought it was just another day going home....

I just wanted to say this...I feel glad that you opened up a part of yourself to me... It's so crazy that everytime I vowed to myself that everything between us is so absurd and not right, and that I already said to myself that I should just go and move on...fate, the universe, chance or maybe God gives me these kind of circumstances that urges me to stay on longer.

What transpired really made me understand you more...although you still get on my nerves sometimes.....

Just the way I am..

I came across one of my fave movies of all time at cable tv while I was eating my lunch at home. I was actually looking forward in watching a replay of Desperate Housewives (which I am becoming a fan) but while browsing through the channels, I suddenly saw Bridget Jones' Diary showing on Star Movies that I decided that I could just go over from one channel to the other just to see Mark Darcy tell Bridget that he likes her just the way she is....(then I remembered, "shucks, I actually have a dvd of that movie!")

Yup, just the way she is....that's one of the lines that anyone could possibly want to hear from somebody. Imagine, someone who still accepts and love you (aside from a blood relative) despite the flaws in your being. I could not help but smile while I watched that scene where Mark Darcy awkwardly tells Bridget those lines in the movie. Sigh!

The romantic side of me (yes, the one that I am trying to repress badly) suddenly came up with the question "when will I ever hear those words again from a particular someone" (aside from friends who of course will give out a biased answer..) Someone who probably still likes me inspite the fact that I am sometimes moody, or I say the most absurd things, or I am not that well-endowed... basically who will accept me just the way I am, good and bad. That's all...I just wanted to say that out. :)



*****

I've been un-dramatized. (if ever there is such a word!) I've done some careful thinking about the things that transpired during that topsy turvy spell in my life. Kaka and I are not in speaking terms yet. Someday, maybe we will be friends again. But I will always treasure of course the times that I spent with him. Life must go on for me, friends or no friends.. Harbouring all those negative energies will do me no good in the long run. If I continued with that kind of attitude, moping and pouting (as one friend pointed out), I might end up losing more and that made me do a double take on how I view things in my life.

With that I would just end up this entry with this bit:


Someone like You


I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through

Someone like you
You make it all worthwhile
Someone like you
Keeps me satisfied
Someone exactly like.. you

I've travelin a hard road
Lookin for someone exactly like you
I've been carrying my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come shining through



I been doing some soul searching..
To find out where your at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands

But someone like you
You make it all worthwhile
Someone like you
Keep me satisfied

Just like you babe

I have been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different drum
But just lately I've realised
Baby the best is yet to come

Someone like you
You make it all worthwhile
Someone like you
Keep me satisfied

Someone like you
Make it all worthwhile
Someone like you
Keep me satisfied (Just like you)

Someone exactly like you
Someone






For the one who will like me..just the way I am. ;)

Drama Queen

I have not updated my blog for a while... A lot of things happend in a span of 2 or (is it already 3?) weeks.
Not so good things. Crying and moping seems a theme for me during those times and I'm still at awe how my life became all topsy-turvy all of a sudden...

I really want to of course apologize to my office friends who I somehow let down at the last gimmick that was supposed to cheer me up. I really wanted to go but then circumstances prevented me from doing so. Even though I already apologized, I feel things are not really the same anymore. Especially with Kaka...

Somehow, he is the only one who seem to be so mad at me after that. I confronted him about that matter the other day, and I feel that I was splashed with icy water on my face with what he said...

"Naiinis ako sa'yo, pag nakikita ko si Alex, kahit wala siyang kasalanan, naiinis na rin ako sa kanya... lalo na pag nakita ko na kayong tatlo nina Camit, lalo lang ako naiinis!"

"Wala siyang gusto sa yo!"

"Pwede pa naman tayo magusap pero hindi na katulad ng dati."


Ouch!

First of all,I came to discuss and to make ammends with what happened between the two of us, not to ask for his opinion with whatever it is going on with me and Alex. But Kaka really had to bring that up.

Kaka is one of the few people who I can really talk to and who listens. He is such a sweet friend and even spent 200 bucks to buy me flowers. Much as I want to patch things out with him, I already did my part. If he really can't find it in his heart to let bygones be bygones, then I guess I have to leave it to time to heal things between us.

I really don't wish to elaborate about the statements Kaka blurted out. Especially why he blurted those out. A lot of people keep egging me that I was being replaced...or whatever...! It is really starting to be a bit annoying. It means that I was being compared to the other girl. Haughty as I may seem to be, but I really have to say... We are not in the same level! Anyhoo, it's Tian's life. It's not that we have a thing going on between us. We're just friends.
I just don't care anymore.

I was so close at submitting my resignation letter because of all those things. I just feel that there is really no reason to stay anymore. It's bound to happen anyway right? Better to be the first one to go. I have a lot of job offers actually, but again, circumstances prevented me from doing so.

I am thankful that there are still a few people at work who are still here for me no matter how indiyanera I am. Rod, who seems to be my only friend amongst the group and who never seems to get tired of hearing my sob stories. Carmela, of course. To my supfriend, Kit. I will be putting off my resignation for the meantime for you. And.... Alex...even if he's still annoying me because of his endless pangiinis at times and clueless as he is, the reason why this rift started, still puts up with my negative aura, is still there waiting for 3 hours until my shift ends. Maybe I have to tell him not to wait for me anymore. He does not get enough sleep because he waits for me everyday, and sometimes gets home around 1pm. I really appreciate what he's doing but still I don't know why he does that. 3 hours is 3 hours. I'm scared to ask of course. I guess it will be one of those things that I will never get to know. At least until I get the guts to ask him. I just really wish that he can be a bit nicer though.



So much drama! It really makes me want to go to church.

Over and Over again....!

group gerrys
Originally uploaded by mramos.

It's Monday early morn as I am composing this entry....3 am in fact... I am at home, with Hale's The day you said goodnight playing on the radio. Haven't much time to write an entry anymore at work since becoming an ATL means that you have to be focused only on work related stuff in all your times being in meeting status the whole shift. In anycase, let me just tell you what happend for the past few weeks...

We had this party last July 4 to celebrate our team's nth time of passing QA. I was one of those who were awarded because of having one of the most number of passing QA marks and i won a gift certificate of 500 for that. (I thought I will never get one of those things!) I got to join a game with Alex the lion as my partner, for Break the Egg, and we won of course! Matching picture frames to boot! See our picture below:


A pair of good-looking Winners! Hehehe! :)



Prior to the party by the way, I went to this agency that where I applied a job for Singapore. I was made to take another set of exams. I did not made it. Bummer! I did not really set my heart on it, but it is kinda disappointing. I was thinking of the salary..it was actually enough for me to save for my future. But then again, God must have a different plan for me. But there is another opening however. Although, there is another opening for the cabin crew at Saudia. I was thinking of applying. I think I will give it a go.

Sigh! I have this habit of falling asleep early and then waking up around 2 or 3 in the morning.I feel contented and dreamy at this moment. The night is so calm and everything is just so quiet outside. Mom is already sleeping. I wonder what he's doing at this moment....Must be sleeping....Right before I fell asleep, I was toying with my mobile phone, browsing through the pictures that were stored there. I came across his picture. My mind began to wander....I suddenly scrolled to options and decided to set his picture as wallpaper for my phone. I smiled to myself.... and suddenly blurted out "Uy, bagay!" Wish I could really legally keep it that way,but of course, it's all just in my imagiantion. It's been more than 2 years now since I was in a relationship. Although, it really does not bother me that I am single now, but it would sure be wonderful to be in one again. Maybe I would be destined to be an old maid. I am certainly seeing a lot right now. It's already Saturday by the way, and my shift ended early. I was on swap with Kat Cordova and we're just passing the time away since Techy Rod will be treating us to lunch at Glorietta to celebrate his birthday. It was my sister's birthday as well last July 13 and I could not think of the perfect gift to give...not until yesterday.... Hehehe! I gave her this pair of flat shoes I bought the other night at Baclaran. When I got home, both my mom and my sister commented that the shoes were ugly...(Hmp! It was kinda cute when I bought it....) My sister even said that my feet look dirty on it so I made her try it on so I can have a clear idea what it looked like. It look kinda cute on her feet and the idea dawned to me that I would just then give the shoes to her as my birthday gift. I only wore it once anyways..... She stucked out her tongue at me to show her protest... Well, I am not kidding...but maybe as a consolation, I would add something, like a cologne or such...

I am actually at the training room right now, alone. I love that it's quiet here and I can gather my thoughts without the distraction. Sure, it's a bit lonley and literally, cold...that my lips are chapping right now....but still, I love the time alone to myself...

Now, I have to rush off because I really need to go to the bathroom...bad! Ciao!

P.S. Thanks to Eryll Arroza for the pics!

What does your birth month say about you?

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.



Thanks to Leane for this "insightful" link from her blog! :)

Magkwentuhan muna tayo!

Blue
by dscythe


“Anong favorite color mo?”
Natigilan ka sa pagsubo ng cheesecake na gawa ko sa bibig mo.

“Saan naman galing yung tanong mo?”

“Wala lang…”

Ngayon lang sumangga sa utak ko na isang taon na pala. Labingdalawang buwan. Tatlong-daan at animnapu’t-limang beses na umikot ang mundo mula ng magkakilala tayo. Pero ni hindi ko man lamang alam kung ano ang favorite color mo.

Mas mabilis ko pa yatang matatapos ang isang exam na ang mga tanong ay yung tipong:

“What is the maximum temperature that can be reached by the combustion of methane with 20% excess air? Both methane and the air enter the burner at 298K.”

Kaysa sa:

“What is his favorite color?”

Kung ganyan ang tanong na nasa exam ko, kahit pa siguro “up-to-sawa”, hindi lalapat ang ballpen sa papel ko. O di kaya naman nagmukha ng coupon bond yung yellow paper sa dami ng correction fluid na magagamit ko. At pihadong ma-si-singko ako.

Bigyan mo ako ng slumbook at yung unang limang linya lang ang masusulatan ko.

Name? Oo naman alam ko yun siyempre pati na rin nickname. Haller?

Birthday? Binati naman kita nung birthday mo. Siyempre hindi ko makakalimutan yung date noh. Saka ka-birthday mo pinsan ko.

Zodiac Sign? Sus. Ang dali lang hulaan nito. Malamang alam ko ‘to kasi alam ko birthday mo. Wala naman sa gitna ng dalawang zodiac signs ang birthday mo. May mga birthday kasi na depende sa dyaryong binabasa mo kung ano ang zodiac sign mo.

Address? Basta ang alam ko taga-Quezon City ka, di ko nga lang talaga sigurado kung saan. Malapit yata sa EDSA.

Telephone Number? Mandaraya pa ako. Naka-store naman landline mo sa cell ko eh.

Pagdating sa “favorites”…

Tenenenen.

Favorite:

Color? Uhmm…blue? Stereotypical lang. Siguro kasi lalaki ka.

Food? Kinakain mo naman lahat eh, paano ko malalaman? Bottomless pit pa man din yang sikmura mo. Kaya nga ang taba mo ngayon eh. Bola-bola siopao? Saka siyempre cheesecake ko.

Sport? Without a doubt. BASKETBALL.

Song? Half-life by Duncan Shiek? Lagi ko lang kasing naririnig yung statement na half-life galing sa’yo. Saka naalala ko rin na may sinabi kang gusto mo yun.

Singer? Malamang Duncan Shiek.

Movie? Dito medyo sigurado ako. The Matrix. Pati na rin yung Reloaded and Revolution.

Actor? I don’t think just because you like the Matrix you like Keanu Reeves as well.

Actress? Maui Taylor? Aubrey Miles? Lahat ng nag-pose para sa FHM calendar? Based lang lahat ng assumptions ko sa mga naka-dikit sa dingding ng kwarto mo.

Book? The Alchemist? You just seem to quote so much from it.

Author? Paulo Coelho? For obvious reasons.

The list could go on and still manghuhula pa rin ako. I just realized that I hardly know you at all. Ni hindi ko man lang alam kung ano ang mga hilig mo. Pero kahit na ganito ang kaso minahal pa rin kita. Hindi naman kasi kita minahal dahil sa pareho tayong fan ng LA Lakers. At lalong hindi naman mawawala yung pagmamahal ko sa’yo kung nagkataon na si April Boy ang favorite singer mo. Minahal kita dahil sa kung ano yung ikaw na nakilala ko. Yung pagpunas mo ng luha sa mukha ko sa tuwing umiiyak ako. Yung pagdala mo ng pandesal sa trabaho nung hindi ako nakakain bago umalis ng bahay. Yung pagukunwari mong nasasaktan ka tuwing hinahampas kita. Yung pagpilit mo sa’king ngumiti kahit pa sukdulan naman yung kakornihan ng joke mo. Yung nag-star gazing tayo sa field habang nakahiga ako sa braso mo. Yun ang mga katangian mong minahal at pinahalagahan ko. Pero malamang kung si April Boy ang favorite singer mo, na-turn off ako. Pero kaunti lang.

“Hulaan mo?”

“Hay, ‘yan ka na naman. Pahihirapan pa akong manghula, hindi na lang sabihin."

Kunwari nag-isip ako.

“Blue?”

Ngumiti ka.

“Green.”

Sa hindi ko na alam kung pang-ilang pagkakataon, mali na naman ako. Tulad ng maraming pagkakamali na una kong nagawa. Mali ako nung hinulaan kong blue ang kulay ng pinto ng apartment mo, pink pala. Mali ako nung inakala kong bunso ka. Mali ako nung inakala kong iisa lang yung ate mong gagawan natin ng cheesecake at yung ate mong kasama mo sa apartment. Mali yung pagkakabasa ko sa mga ikinikilos mo. Mali yung inakala kong there was something existing between us. Kasi nung hinayaan ko ang sarili kong mahulog, wala ka palang balak saluhin ako. Ang dami ko tuloy tinamong pilay at sugat. Mga sugat na hindi ko alam kung kalian gagaling ng tuluyan. Mali rin yung inisip ko that there could have been something existing between us kung hindi lang ako tanga. Kasi bumaba ng sukdulan ang self-esteem ko kakasisi ko sa sarili ko. Lalong mali yung umaasa pa rin ako that someday maybe, just maybe, something would be existing between us. Dahil habang patuloy akong umaasa, lalo mo lang akong pinapatay. Kaya nga mali rin siguro na magkaibigan uli tayo.

Pero hindi ko itinuturing na pagkakamali yung minahal kita. Oo, nasaktan ako ng sobra at sinubukan kong lunurin ang sarili ko sa bote-bote ng beer, pero yung sandaling panahong ipinaramdam mo sa’kin na mahalaga ako ay isa sa pinakamasasayang sandali ng buhay ko. Pero dapat ko ng tanggapin na hindi ka talaga para sa’kin at dapat na kitang pakawalan. Wala ng silbi yung patuloy ko pang hayaan na sa’yo umikot ang mundo ko. Alam kong magmamahal uli ako, pero hindi pa ngayon. Kung kailan, hindi ko alam.

Sana lang kapag dumating na ang araw na magmahal uli ako, tumama na ako na blue ang favorite color niya.

########
Unti-unti ka ng umaalis sa buhay ko pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung anong favorite color mo...

Thanking God...

Everytime I look back to what I've been through for the past 3 years I could not help but feel overwhelmed. I have experienced times so tough that I felt I was running out of hope in my life. There were times that I would just sit at our balcony, with a grumbling stomach, writing at my journal.... staring at the stars, nearly at tears and praying to God to help me and my family through it all.... To make matters worse, the one person who I was hoping will be there, Michael, has suddenly announced that he fell in love with someone else and told me that I was not his priority anymore. I was so devastated...We were broke, my heart was shattered to pieces, my life crumbling around me...I became sickly then,I was crying everyday, I remember...I felt that I have nobody else...I guess it is true that when times are low...you suddenly come running back to your faith...to God...I began to re establish my relationship with God...I began to read the bible...go to church again... Things that I somehow have forgotten when things seems to go my way, but not really. Whenever I need wisdom and strength, whenever I feel that my hope is failing, I pray to God and open the bible and like magic, the verse I would end up reading always applies to what I was feeling then. Then things just fell into place...it was not that instant, of course... It was sort of a step by step process.. God truly has his own ways....

Getting the job at Fil-Pac was the stepping stone. It was my first job. A real paying job.Although the pay was minimal, it did helped alot. I decided to expand my horizons but I never expected People Support at all. I even thought I was not accepted because they gave me a vague answer of just-wait-we'll-call-you after my last interview. But again, God has His own way... Since then, I have learned so much...in all aspects of my being. I'm always forever thankful and in awe of God's wisdom. I learned not to question his will. No matter how long the process, things always fall into place in the end..just as long you put your trust in God.


I want to share this prayer that I first heard from Mr. Big. Although the prayer is Catholic, I feel that I can still apply the prayer to certain situations in my life that I sometimes could not comprehend. Anyway, I'm an open minded Born-Again Christian. Going back, I can't exactly remember how we started to talk about it. All I remember was that we were eating then at Chowking after a long walk and he recited this prayer. "Ang ganda naman nyan....yan ang pinakamagandang Catholic prayer na narinig ko. Anung title nyan?", I blurted out. To which he answered me in his annoyed, supreme fashion..."Ha? hindi mo alam ang Serenity Prayer?" "Sorry, hindi kasi ako Catholic! Hindi rin tinuro sa amin yan. Pero alam ko yung Apostle's Creed!" Hehehe! I could not help but smile everytime I recall that moment. That was actually one of the times that I would fondly remember Mr. Big of, inspite of his annoying habits. In any case, here is the Serenity Prayer...

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


Beautiful isn't it? To which I'll end this entry with one of my favorite verse in the bible:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6


God bless everyone! :)

Rain

I hear laughter in the rain...walking hand in hand with the one I love....

Rain.....

It's rainy season again...time to bring out the jackets and umbrellas....goodbye to summer sunshine and the blistering heat... I really hate rainy days before...imagine, going to school, trying to keep yourself dry while you shift from one jeep to another...opening your wet umbrella again and again, dealing with the lack of transportation which somehow is always related with the sudden downpour... plus, the weather is all gloomy and all gimmicks are postponed!To top it all off, flooded streets, wet shoes (and the icky feeling inside), bad hairday, plus you're prone to sickness and laziness!

A sudden change some years back and I am now beginning to like the rain, even loving it....I really relish the idea of the cold weather... a welcome change from the heat of last summer. I love the sound of raindrops drumming against the rooftops. Sleeping is more relaxing as well. (I am now longing for my bed now!). Jaggy has pointed out one important reason to enjoy the rain... You got to admit that Rain is Romantic! In any case, there are many events that happend in my life during a rainy day....I remember hanging out with my then special someone on a sidewalk in Lopez, eating a Jollibee meal, while rain is pouring....celebrated several of my birthdays on a rainy day... endless phone conversations that is made even more fun because of the fact that its raining... I remember having my first kiss after a long rainshower, (and hopefully I am going to get my next kiss again in the same situation!hehehe! :) )

The atmosphere at work is not really that upbeat this past week. To tell you the truth, I really feel a bit lonely right now. People at work seems to have formed their own groups, including my own office friends. I really feel that everything has turned superficial....To think I was doing a double take in submitting an application for a job abroad because of the things I would miss the most at PS. Being an ATL does not work at all either. Hearing people planning to resign does not help too. Alex and I were talking about something on the way home today. I told him that I really feel left out at work. I feel kinda a bit isolated. Nevertheless, there are still some people who I can pester....there's Techy, who I can easily talk to...and Kaka too, who actually knows more about how I feel than me. Of course,even if I don't say it aloud, I really do appreciate the way Alex waits until my shift ends... although, he sometimes is crabby and moody..esp when I just want to share some of my crappy stories about what's happening at the 30th floor. Lola Carms of course, still has her up and down moods.... I really hope that this is just something in my mind...but I really just want to say it aloud..rather to write it down...I just feel lonely, isolated and left out..... BUT, I am cheering myself up... :)

Summer Lovin'!

wowowee girls in front of the South Beach
Originally uploaded by mramos.

Sched changes, account changes, 2 outings, a birthday.....these are some of the changes that happend in my life for the past weeks or so....haven't written about them due to some factors....such as I am no longer a sleeping agent, part lacking in motivation, part Mr. Big/Adobe and partly that I'm always left with an unfinished entry on my online notepad only to find out the next day that someone has restarted my pc and what I have written is long lost gone.....
So here I am, updating my online journal....so expect a lengthy entry...hehehehe!
Remember the outing that my office mates and I were planning? I somehow mentioned it in one of my entries.... well, the plan went through and we had that trip last April 30. We sailed over to Corregidor, all 10 of us.... Alex,Alvin, Ami,Aya,Kaka, Rod, Jagurl, Roanne, Kat and moi... There were some of not so good moments (some of us had bad cases of diarrhea, and other not so good incidents) but all in all, we had a good vacation (and we had 200 plus pictures to prove that courtesy of Jaggy's and Alex's digital cameras). I have posted some of the pics here...wish I could post them all but here are some of the best shots....



me and the girls...dubbed the HOSTEL GIRLS!
we were kinda debating if this is a valid ghost picture...see the orbs?
the group at the sun cruiser before sailing off to Corregidor


one of my fave pics...we're all smiles here at the deck!

the Japanese-Filipino Friendship Tour Bus


the beautiful corregidor sunset


Hokey,Pokey!

basking in the Sunset and the View! Thanks to Jaggy for this shot.


me and the guys looking like soldiers at malinta tunnel



Attention!


in front of our hostel before leaving...

=
One last shot...before boarding our ship!


Alex and Me..I really look like I am tired..and my hair is kinda messy!



After that, its back to office work again. But I was able to just go to work every other day after that week. I was able to submit my application at an agency where I spent 500 bucks all in all and I haven't heard from them yet, and I really want to bag that job. I believe that it would be my ticket out of PS.Blimey! I think I'm kissing my 500 bucks goodbye!
Within that week too, we learned that some of us were being transferred out of CustServ. A number of us were transferred to the account that we were being cross trained for. I thought I was one of those people, because I am cross-trained for Credit Expert, but for some reason, I am still retained here at Custserv although I don't know if that is a good thing or not considering that the people who were transferred mostly does not want to come back. Well, we're still swamped with the same neverending calls, with still the unreasonable customers. We also had a schedule change and my schedule is now 12-9am. I was actually bummed out because I was so used to having my sched of 9-6. Plus if you're in the 12-9 shift, the work seems longer and all of my office friends are on the 9-6 am shift except for Techy, who because of his consistent tardiness, landed him as a weekend rep, so I'm not really alone when it comes to the 12-9 am shift, that's a comforting thought plus someone does not mind waiting for 3 hours more till my end shift.(hanks soo much!) :) That's why I don't mind anymore if we'll be taking a longer and more expensive route on the way home.
oh and we had this company outing last May 8 as well which was pretty uneventful and I just skulked away because I was not feeling well that time. Nevertheless, I have posted some pics here and it's not really showing that I am having a crummy time don't I?



in the VIP tent


wacky bunch!

a creative pose at Clear Water in Pampanga

after a gruelling match of water polo

I turned 24 last May 19...as you can see with my previous post. I spent my first hours of being 24 years old in the office where before logging in some of my office friends rendered a birthday song for me. Amy, who's birthday is after mine, and I decided to have joint celebration at a resto and watched StarWars afterwards. (a monumental event because it is the end of the Star Wars Saga on my bday no less!) Just spent the rest of the day at the office, surfing the net, and arguing with someone about giving out countries for certain continents. I was on a birthday leave anyways and ended up going home at around 7pm. It was just sad that I was not able to celebrate my birthday with my old highschool buddies, Mau, Nellie and Cath. I remember I celebrated the event with them last year. My ex was even there but it turned out sort of horrible in the end. I vowed to celebrate it with close few friends from there on. I really miss Nelli and Mau. I haven't seen them for the longest time.

AND...the final draw.... I am now an ATL! That's all!