Drama Queen

I have not updated my blog for a while... A lot of things happend in a span of 2 or (is it already 3?) weeks.
Not so good things. Crying and moping seems a theme for me during those times and I'm still at awe how my life became all topsy-turvy all of a sudden...

I really want to of course apologize to my office friends who I somehow let down at the last gimmick that was supposed to cheer me up. I really wanted to go but then circumstances prevented me from doing so. Even though I already apologized, I feel things are not really the same anymore. Especially with Kaka...

Somehow, he is the only one who seem to be so mad at me after that. I confronted him about that matter the other day, and I feel that I was splashed with icy water on my face with what he said...

"Naiinis ako sa'yo, pag nakikita ko si Alex, kahit wala siyang kasalanan, naiinis na rin ako sa kanya... lalo na pag nakita ko na kayong tatlo nina Camit, lalo lang ako naiinis!"

"Wala siyang gusto sa yo!"

"Pwede pa naman tayo magusap pero hindi na katulad ng dati."


Ouch!

First of all,I came to discuss and to make ammends with what happened between the two of us, not to ask for his opinion with whatever it is going on with me and Alex. But Kaka really had to bring that up.

Kaka is one of the few people who I can really talk to and who listens. He is such a sweet friend and even spent 200 bucks to buy me flowers. Much as I want to patch things out with him, I already did my part. If he really can't find it in his heart to let bygones be bygones, then I guess I have to leave it to time to heal things between us.

I really don't wish to elaborate about the statements Kaka blurted out. Especially why he blurted those out. A lot of people keep egging me that I was being replaced...or whatever...! It is really starting to be a bit annoying. It means that I was being compared to the other girl. Haughty as I may seem to be, but I really have to say... We are not in the same level! Anyhoo, it's Tian's life. It's not that we have a thing going on between us. We're just friends.
I just don't care anymore.

I was so close at submitting my resignation letter because of all those things. I just feel that there is really no reason to stay anymore. It's bound to happen anyway right? Better to be the first one to go. I have a lot of job offers actually, but again, circumstances prevented me from doing so.

I am thankful that there are still a few people at work who are still here for me no matter how indiyanera I am. Rod, who seems to be my only friend amongst the group and who never seems to get tired of hearing my sob stories. Carmela, of course. To my supfriend, Kit. I will be putting off my resignation for the meantime for you. And.... Alex...even if he's still annoying me because of his endless pangiinis at times and clueless as he is, the reason why this rift started, still puts up with my negative aura, is still there waiting for 3 hours until my shift ends. Maybe I have to tell him not to wait for me anymore. He does not get enough sleep because he waits for me everyday, and sometimes gets home around 1pm. I really appreciate what he's doing but still I don't know why he does that. 3 hours is 3 hours. I'm scared to ask of course. I guess it will be one of those things that I will never get to know. At least until I get the guts to ask him. I just really wish that he can be a bit nicer though.



So much drama! It really makes me want to go to church.