Thanking God...

Everytime I look back to what I've been through for the past 3 years I could not help but feel overwhelmed. I have experienced times so tough that I felt I was running out of hope in my life. There were times that I would just sit at our balcony, with a grumbling stomach, writing at my journal.... staring at the stars, nearly at tears and praying to God to help me and my family through it all.... To make matters worse, the one person who I was hoping will be there, Michael, has suddenly announced that he fell in love with someone else and told me that I was not his priority anymore. I was so devastated...We were broke, my heart was shattered to pieces, my life crumbling around me...I became sickly then,I was crying everyday, I remember...I felt that I have nobody else...I guess it is true that when times are low...you suddenly come running back to your faith...to God...I began to re establish my relationship with God...I began to read the bible...go to church again... Things that I somehow have forgotten when things seems to go my way, but not really. Whenever I need wisdom and strength, whenever I feel that my hope is failing, I pray to God and open the bible and like magic, the verse I would end up reading always applies to what I was feeling then. Then things just fell into place...it was not that instant, of course... It was sort of a step by step process.. God truly has his own ways....

Getting the job at Fil-Pac was the stepping stone. It was my first job. A real paying job.Although the pay was minimal, it did helped alot. I decided to expand my horizons but I never expected People Support at all. I even thought I was not accepted because they gave me a vague answer of just-wait-we'll-call-you after my last interview. But again, God has His own way... Since then, I have learned so much...in all aspects of my being. I'm always forever thankful and in awe of God's wisdom. I learned not to question his will. No matter how long the process, things always fall into place in the end..just as long you put your trust in God.


I want to share this prayer that I first heard from Mr. Big. Although the prayer is Catholic, I feel that I can still apply the prayer to certain situations in my life that I sometimes could not comprehend. Anyway, I'm an open minded Born-Again Christian. Going back, I can't exactly remember how we started to talk about it. All I remember was that we were eating then at Chowking after a long walk and he recited this prayer. "Ang ganda naman nyan....yan ang pinakamagandang Catholic prayer na narinig ko. Anung title nyan?", I blurted out. To which he answered me in his annoyed, supreme fashion..."Ha? hindi mo alam ang Serenity Prayer?" "Sorry, hindi kasi ako Catholic! Hindi rin tinuro sa amin yan. Pero alam ko yung Apostle's Creed!" Hehehe! I could not help but smile everytime I recall that moment. That was actually one of the times that I would fondly remember Mr. Big of, inspite of his annoying habits. In any case, here is the Serenity Prayer...

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


Beautiful isn't it? To which I'll end this entry with one of my favorite verse in the bible:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6


God bless everyone! :)