I am writing this entry past my bedtime so to speak, which is supposed to be at 2pm (normal bedtime for the call center folks like me. Time just flew by again, January just ended and February is passing by us again, fast!
Actually, I am down in the dumps right now...why? I really can't tell. For the past several days, I was very happy. You know, happy, as in high spirits, couldn't help but smile happiness. The one that yousimply can't contain inside you? The one that you feel as if you're (choke!) inlove?!?
Hahaha! Here I am again using that I.L. word again. It's very difficult for me to apply that to myself, but it's the only word that I can think of to describe what I was feeling these past few days, until now of course.
So am I inlove? Well, maybe, maybe not. I'm really not sure to tell you honestly. I am really confused right now regarding that matter, or am I just afraid to admit it? Bummer!
So am I inlove? Well, maybe, maybe not. I'm really not sure to tell you honestly. I am really confused right now regarding that matter, or am I just afraid to admit it? Bummer!
Anyway,I came to work last Wednesday night, feeling so down in the dumps. I really can't pinpoint why. Maybe it's the hormones or something, but one thing's for sure, I am low in the self-esteem department. Normally, I am a very secure person ( well, yeah of course!) I am satisfied with what I am right now but maybe there comes a point in your life where you suddenly just want to wallow in self pity and to scrutinize your faults.
Well, I always thought myself as a boring person. Really! I feel that what I say sometimes is too shallow, when I am just trying to make light conversation, or too dull when I am just trying to speak my mind. Although, my friends ( according to letters, friendster testimonials, and verbal compliments) that they do enjoy talking to me and I was not boring. I just felt that what I am saying is completely uninteresting because I feel that the other person is not really listening. Don't we all want someone to be at least our listening board?
That was actually last week when I was so down in the dumps. That was such a terrible feeling. I even have to go and press personal to go to the ladies' room to vent out (through crying) because an ass hole customer made me more upset than I was feeling back then. My officemates noticed my sudden quietness and my forlorn expression. BUt of course, thanks to some people, they kind of cheered me up through my mid life crisis (that's what I referred my situation last week). I was able to get over it by Friday morning. I am now back to my self old confident self! (unfortunately for me my skin is breaking out and I have this huge zit on my forehead, that is painful, and red...ewww! its because of this treatment cream that I am using. Sure is slow before I can see the results!).
I am just going to continue this next time...in time for Valentine's maybe. Right now, people's morale are low in the office and I could not help but feel sad as well. It's kind of sad to think that this dream job, this job where the work seem like just a big play, will about to end all of a sudden. I don't want it to end. Atleast not yet. :( To be continued.....................
