Rain

I hear laughter in the rain...walking hand in hand with the one I love....

Rain.....

It's rainy season again...time to bring out the jackets and umbrellas....goodbye to summer sunshine and the blistering heat... I really hate rainy days before...imagine, going to school, trying to keep yourself dry while you shift from one jeep to another...opening your wet umbrella again and again, dealing with the lack of transportation which somehow is always related with the sudden downpour... plus, the weather is all gloomy and all gimmicks are postponed!To top it all off, flooded streets, wet shoes (and the icky feeling inside), bad hairday, plus you're prone to sickness and laziness!

A sudden change some years back and I am now beginning to like the rain, even loving it....I really relish the idea of the cold weather... a welcome change from the heat of last summer. I love the sound of raindrops drumming against the rooftops. Sleeping is more relaxing as well. (I am now longing for my bed now!). Jaggy has pointed out one important reason to enjoy the rain... You got to admit that Rain is Romantic! In any case, there are many events that happend in my life during a rainy day....I remember hanging out with my then special someone on a sidewalk in Lopez, eating a Jollibee meal, while rain is pouring....celebrated several of my birthdays on a rainy day... endless phone conversations that is made even more fun because of the fact that its raining... I remember having my first kiss after a long rainshower, (and hopefully I am going to get my next kiss again in the same situation!hehehe! :) )

The atmosphere at work is not really that upbeat this past week. To tell you the truth, I really feel a bit lonely right now. People at work seems to have formed their own groups, including my own office friends. I really feel that everything has turned superficial....To think I was doing a double take in submitting an application for a job abroad because of the things I would miss the most at PS. Being an ATL does not work at all either. Hearing people planning to resign does not help too. Alex and I were talking about something on the way home today. I told him that I really feel left out at work. I feel kinda a bit isolated. Nevertheless, there are still some people who I can pester....there's Techy, who I can easily talk to...and Kaka too, who actually knows more about how I feel than me. Of course,even if I don't say it aloud, I really do appreciate the way Alex waits until my shift ends... although, he sometimes is crabby and moody..esp when I just want to share some of my crappy stories about what's happening at the 30th floor. Lola Carms of course, still has her up and down moods.... I really hope that this is just something in my mind...but I really just want to say it aloud..rather to write it down...I just feel lonely, isolated and left out..... BUT, I am cheering myself up... :)

Summer Lovin'!

wowowee girls in front of the South Beach
Originally uploaded by mramos.

Sched changes, account changes, 2 outings, a birthday.....these are some of the changes that happend in my life for the past weeks or so....haven't written about them due to some factors....such as I am no longer a sleeping agent, part lacking in motivation, part Mr. Big/Adobe and partly that I'm always left with an unfinished entry on my online notepad only to find out the next day that someone has restarted my pc and what I have written is long lost gone.....
So here I am, updating my online journal....so expect a lengthy entry...hehehehe!
Remember the outing that my office mates and I were planning? I somehow mentioned it in one of my entries.... well, the plan went through and we had that trip last April 30. We sailed over to Corregidor, all 10 of us.... Alex,Alvin, Ami,Aya,Kaka, Rod, Jagurl, Roanne, Kat and moi... There were some of not so good moments (some of us had bad cases of diarrhea, and other not so good incidents) but all in all, we had a good vacation (and we had 200 plus pictures to prove that courtesy of Jaggy's and Alex's digital cameras). I have posted some of the pics here...wish I could post them all but here are some of the best shots....



me and the girls...dubbed the HOSTEL GIRLS!
we were kinda debating if this is a valid ghost picture...see the orbs?
the group at the sun cruiser before sailing off to Corregidor


one of my fave pics...we're all smiles here at the deck!

the Japanese-Filipino Friendship Tour Bus


the beautiful corregidor sunset


Hokey,Pokey!

basking in the Sunset and the View! Thanks to Jaggy for this shot.


me and the guys looking like soldiers at malinta tunnel



Attention!


in front of our hostel before leaving...

=
One last shot...before boarding our ship!


Alex and Me..I really look like I am tired..and my hair is kinda messy!



After that, its back to office work again. But I was able to just go to work every other day after that week. I was able to submit my application at an agency where I spent 500 bucks all in all and I haven't heard from them yet, and I really want to bag that job. I believe that it would be my ticket out of PS.Blimey! I think I'm kissing my 500 bucks goodbye!
Within that week too, we learned that some of us were being transferred out of CustServ. A number of us were transferred to the account that we were being cross trained for. I thought I was one of those people, because I am cross-trained for Credit Expert, but for some reason, I am still retained here at Custserv although I don't know if that is a good thing or not considering that the people who were transferred mostly does not want to come back. Well, we're still swamped with the same neverending calls, with still the unreasonable customers. We also had a schedule change and my schedule is now 12-9am. I was actually bummed out because I was so used to having my sched of 9-6. Plus if you're in the 12-9 shift, the work seems longer and all of my office friends are on the 9-6 am shift except for Techy, who because of his consistent tardiness, landed him as a weekend rep, so I'm not really alone when it comes to the 12-9 am shift, that's a comforting thought plus someone does not mind waiting for 3 hours more till my end shift.(hanks soo much!) :) That's why I don't mind anymore if we'll be taking a longer and more expensive route on the way home.
oh and we had this company outing last May 8 as well which was pretty uneventful and I just skulked away because I was not feeling well that time. Nevertheless, I have posted some pics here and it's not really showing that I am having a crummy time don't I?



in the VIP tent


wacky bunch!

a creative pose at Clear Water in Pampanga

after a gruelling match of water polo

I turned 24 last May 19...as you can see with my previous post. I spent my first hours of being 24 years old in the office where before logging in some of my office friends rendered a birthday song for me. Amy, who's birthday is after mine, and I decided to have joint celebration at a resto and watched StarWars afterwards. (a monumental event because it is the end of the Star Wars Saga on my bday no less!) Just spent the rest of the day at the office, surfing the net, and arguing with someone about giving out countries for certain continents. I was on a birthday leave anyways and ended up going home at around 7pm. It was just sad that I was not able to celebrate my birthday with my old highschool buddies, Mau, Nellie and Cath. I remember I celebrated the event with them last year. My ex was even there but it turned out sort of horrible in the end. I vowed to celebrate it with close few friends from there on. I really miss Nelli and Mau. I haven't seen them for the longest time.

AND...the final draw.... I am now an ATL! That's all!

A Happy Birthday for Me!

24 years in this world......


Thanking the Lord for another period in my life......


A new round of lessons to be learned.....


Challenges to be faced.....


Feelings to confront.........


Hoping for a wonderful change this time...


A Happy Birthday to Me.....!

Maybes and Lamentations about You....

Got to contemplate on the beach...hanging my legs out on the port ala Dawson's Creek style. I found myself waiting...waiting for something or someone I know will never happen or come... I tried my very best to remember if if I had blurted something (aloud) that I should've not spoken out....Nothing...my mind was mostly blank....I found myself wanting to cry....cry because I am at this situation again where I really could not decide how to feel or act when it comes to the matters of the heart...I was just sitting there with the summer sun on my back, thinking how long can I fight this feeling....asking God in a silent prayer why am I feeling this way over a person who doesn't even give a scat on how I feel. As I am writing this entry, I soon discovered that I have a lot of things that I want to tell you, yes, you! How you make me smile with your corny lines, how you can impress me with your intelligence, made me mad because of your argumentative approach, amused me with your feeble attempt to be nice, a lot more that I've been keeping in the deepest crevices of my heart that I longed to say but the fear of rejection, heartbreak and pride keeps me from doing so. Maybe I'll get to say it someday...Maybe not...But now I just allowed myself the painful indulgence of writing out a part of what you are making me feel everyday... but still I am a coward that's why I'm still going to hold back...hold back as long as I can....
*************
Right now, things between us has suddely turned bleak....it seems that everything just disappeared in an instant. You used to share a piece of yourself before, maybe an opinion, or a passing thought, something that you found interesting...but now, I could feel a wall ....few words are now being exchanged between us, most of the time we tend to ignore each other...not that I do like that, but everytime I try to talk to you, you seem to respond with one liners that clearly states that I would not expect a decent conversation with you. As I am typing this, I feel a rush of great sadness and hurt that I really want to go to the bathroom and cry my heart out. What happend? What happend to all the closeness that we had? Or maybe I thought we had. maybe it's all just my imagination that you might consider me at least a bit special compared to everyone else we know.... or that you might consider me at least as a close friend... The funny thing is that I was hoping to make our last week fun and full of laughter and talks but it's so uncanny that this is turning out one of the worst weeks that we had together. This might be a sign that we really are not meant to be.....

Sigh!