Pre-Valentine Mush

♥ Its the Love Month, Baby! ♥

So what a way to get into the jitterbug-toe-curling-deep-sighing-takes-your-breath-away mood than to share a classic tale of one of everyone's favorite cliche topic : Soulmates.. (tale also includes references on gays, lebians and the arts..) I found this post during one of those rare times where I get to surf non related work sites in the middle of the night and when I came across it, I suddenly realized that Valentine's Day is definitely around the corner. So..before I have to write all other kinds of stuff to ruin the mood (I'll save that for later on this week.. hehe..) Let me just tell you all about the Myth of Love:

Do you ever wonder if you really have a soulmate?
Do you ever wonder why there are gays and lesbians?
Don't you ever wonder why some people love their same sex?
Do you ever wonder why some people love their opposite sex?
And do you ever wonder why these love are indestructible?
Why do most people seem to cannot live without someone to love?
And finally, why is it that people do not know what they have until it is gone?

It was said that before, in the origin of times, there were three sexes;male, female, and androgyne.

Original humans do not look like how we humans look today. Humans before were said to be twice of each person now, with two heads, two pair of eyes, two pair of lips, four hands, four feet, two bodies, two hearts, and of course two genitals.

Then, if the person has two vaginas, that is a female. If the person has two penis, that is a male person. If the person has both the two different organs, a vagina and a penis, then that person is an androgyne.

They said that androgynes were the most beautiful people among all because they have mostly the best features and characteristics of both the male and the female.

Because these people dream of being in heaven, even if they already have the heavens in their selves, they want to experience it even for just a little while.

And so they climbed to Mount Olympus. Zeus got furious upon seeing the people going up the mountain. He said, “How dare these immortals climb our wondrous world? And to think I'd let them experience it! Especially now that they do not cherish what they have!!!” He got so mad that he used his lightning bolts to cut each person in half to make them weaker enough so as not to continue on climbing.

The God of Healers healed the wounds of the people cut in half. And from then on, everyone started to look out for their pair the moment they got down from the mountains.This is why there is the term soulmates. Their bodies, in which their souls rest, used to be one. Therefore soulmates.

They said that this is also the reason why there are people who love their same sex, the gays and lesbians. They are the males and females before. And this also explains why gays are creative, because they are both males before, they tend to concentrate on what they lack. The same thing for lesbians. Because they are both females before, they tend to be strong as not to be underestimated.

Androgynes would be equal to male and female lovers. That is why nowadays these couples are the most acceptable, stronger, and the most beautiful among all partners, they have the strength of both males and females.

Lovers nowadays, whether gay, lesbian, or male and female couples, are indestructible because they are the pairs before. They are really meant to be.

This myth also explains why it is natural for people to just realize the value of the people they love only when they are about to be gone or are already gone. Because this happened even before, and we become weaker without our pair. We realize that we need them, truly love them, and that together, we are stronger.

This is also why we kiss. We always try to find the lips wherein ours will fit well.

This is also why we like to hold hands with the one we love, to find out if the spaces between their fingers are the spaces where ours used to lay.

And finally, this is why we always find someone to love. We always want to complete ourselves... Because we need the strength of the one we love in order to go on with the hardships of life... we need to fill in a missing space... and most of all, because we used to have two hearts. We need to find the other one.


All together now.. Awwww..

May everyone have that chance to find their missing halves.

The Kilig Factor

At first I was not noticing you..You were just another face that I see everyday...But then, one fine day, I started to notice you in a different light...I don't know why..maybe it's the fact that others are also quite taken by your silent charm. The following days were really something else... I may seem like someone who can really hide her feelings because no one seem to notice it..That I am one of your silent admirers. But then,I know this is nothing serious..again, like any other good guys out there, it's impossible that you're not taken yet.... So what? I always look forward coming in every night (and it's good that we both have the same rest days already) since I know I'll be catching a glimpse of you even from afar... It's my own private escape to revel in the feeling of contained happiness at every moment that our eyes will meet, or whenever you'll find time to get in touch with me about anything. Sigh! Thanks for making my days extra special (and more bearable...) =)

Time to Fall In love...

Watch Video:

Lifehouse - You And Me

Music Video Codes By WebCodez.com!

The Time to Tell

me and Polgosa during happier times
Originally uploaded by mramos.

Let me take the time out to give a tribute to my cat of more than 10 years who passed away 2 weeks ago..To Polgosa, my very sociable and darling cat, I know your'e at kitty heaven right now..may you rest in peace! It's a shame though that you couldn't wait until I get married or maybe just have a new guy to entertain, since you're so good at it!)

Let me take the time out as well to announce that come July 16, I'm a Supervisor (Trainee) for 3 mos now... how time just flew by and I could not believe how I survived those sleepless (most of the time) days and nights.... Learned a lot and discovered a lot of things within myself... also discovered that a Supervisor is not just a Supervisor, but a million other roles as well....

Let me take the time out as well to tell you that I have developed a crush on someone (and nope it's not HIM), and it seems to grow more everyday, while my relationship with the obvious seems to fade for the reason I don't know why... (is it me, is it you, or is it the classic saying familiarity breeds contempt?)

Let me take the time out as well to tell you that I just confirmed that crush is currently in a relationship right now (awww..disappointed)..and I actually searched his profile in friendster).. Sigh!

Let me take the time out to tell you that I am really considering (and really) to distance myself from HIM, since I am oh so tired of the guessing game (which with the clues I am getting, wala naman siguro talaga. I'm a bit upset with him right now because I did not like the way he replied at the chatpad last night when I commented why it takes so much time before he ca answer my question, which is simply,

pwede ba sumabay sa lunch mo?

..which he answered,

sorry, rep lang ako...kaya may calls, q'in kami..sorry

and I was like, where did that come from? What's with the mean streak? What happend to the If they treat you badly there, you know where to find me... Maybe, he's just having a bad day since he also got into a row with one of his friends in retention, who he favors more nowadays..

Let me take the time out to tell you that I almost submitted my resignation letter (I know, I know, this is also one thing that never seems to materialize) because of my so called Principles..Wow, I feel so righteous! I am ready to give up my current stature just because I can't take the whitewash and politics in our account. My mom just talked me out of it and the thought that my friends are there (including the one who I am supposed to look for anytime Im i trouble) to keep me sane and to keep my feet planted firmly in the ground, until I become regularized!

Let me take the time out to tell you that I'll be having weekends off again (10pm-7am) Whoopee! I am supposed to have 3 consecutive rest days but since I have tons of paperwork to do (feedback and all), I have to go towork tonight!

Let me take the time out to tell you that I should be resting right now because I am so sleepy and I still have to go to work tonight....Till next time!

Good day folks!

My Wonderwall in this Half-Life

I have to say..."Wow, can't believe it's already October....!"

This song suddenly crooned out of my headphones while I am here, spending my restday Thursday surfing the net... I also have another song that's playing on my mind right now.. both songs are old, but I still like it.
I'll just write more about my first week on the floor as a sales rep on my next entry... The field I dreaded the most before....Feeling a bit out of the blue right now, might be coming down with a cold, probably because of walking under the rain last Tuesday morning.... I really have to remember to bring an umbrella the next time..or maybe I should've accepted the offer for the underwear...(hehehe! 'll keep that to myself..)

"Wonderwall"

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

************

Half-Life

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again


I just realized, (for the nth time, I guess) that its so amazing how the feeling of just being inlove can really change your outlook in life.....it is a really delightful feeling!

Maybes and Lamentations about You....

Got to contemplate on the beach...hanging my legs out on the port ala Dawson's Creek style. I found myself waiting...waiting for something or someone I know will never happen or come... I tried my very best to remember if if I had blurted something (aloud) that I should've not spoken out....Nothing...my mind was mostly blank....I found myself wanting to cry....cry because I am at this situation again where I really could not decide how to feel or act when it comes to the matters of the heart...I was just sitting there with the summer sun on my back, thinking how long can I fight this feeling....asking God in a silent prayer why am I feeling this way over a person who doesn't even give a scat on how I feel. As I am writing this entry, I soon discovered that I have a lot of things that I want to tell you, yes, you! How you make me smile with your corny lines, how you can impress me with your intelligence, made me mad because of your argumentative approach, amused me with your feeble attempt to be nice, a lot more that I've been keeping in the deepest crevices of my heart that I longed to say but the fear of rejection, heartbreak and pride keeps me from doing so. Maybe I'll get to say it someday...Maybe not...But now I just allowed myself the painful indulgence of writing out a part of what you are making me feel everyday... but still I am a coward that's why I'm still going to hold back...hold back as long as I can....
*************
Right now, things between us has suddely turned bleak....it seems that everything just disappeared in an instant. You used to share a piece of yourself before, maybe an opinion, or a passing thought, something that you found interesting...but now, I could feel a wall ....few words are now being exchanged between us, most of the time we tend to ignore each other...not that I do like that, but everytime I try to talk to you, you seem to respond with one liners that clearly states that I would not expect a decent conversation with you. As I am typing this, I feel a rush of great sadness and hurt that I really want to go to the bathroom and cry my heart out. What happend? What happend to all the closeness that we had? Or maybe I thought we had. maybe it's all just my imagination that you might consider me at least a bit special compared to everyone else we know.... or that you might consider me at least as a close friend... The funny thing is that I was hoping to make our last week fun and full of laughter and talks but it's so uncanny that this is turning out one of the worst weeks that we had together. This might be a sign that we really are not meant to be.....

Sigh!

Love... in the form of Chess!

Check.......

Unexpectedly you came. Indifferent and clueless but you had the aura of complexity. I didn’t bother to recognize the beauty that was innate in you for it was just one of those senseless conversations for me. We were both minding our own pointless existence.
As the witty exchange of words drew us together, it suddenly occurred to me that this was different. You were different. I instantly noticed how amazingly smart you were. That and more.
I was the black pawn. You were the white knight. We were always on the same board but we never had our squares aligned. While I was busy protecting, shielding my own realm, you were having your own share of victorious moments. I took my steps one square at a time, constantly being aware of the threat that haunted me for years. Your valor radiated from within while your horse galloped. Your mere presence was too overwhelming for me not to notice.You were my metaphor.Your vagueness was intriguing me.For some strange reason it was as if I understood every crap you’ve been telling me. I just refused to acknowledge the fact that they were affecting me this much. I was trying desperately hard to resist being dragged any further into this but the scent of paranoia that once lingered in my whole being seemed to have faded.It had its toll.You had me.
We both knew that we could not justify the mediocrity of it all.

I was confused that’s why I just had to draw the line. I didn’t want to hold on to something that was not even there. You assured me that it was there, constantly hovering over my open palm. Somehow I just couldn’t grasp it. Maybe because I was just trying hard to get a grip of it for I feared that it might go away. I realized that I wasn’t letting it have a chance to calmly rest on my palm. I know you were just taking your time. You’ve been doing that from the start. You would never know how much I appreciated you for that. You were just probably as scared as I was. Not even half I bet, for now you have everything to lose.I’m nearing the end of the chessboard. Soon I’ll be transformed into a queen. I don’t know how to rule. This whole sense of sovereignty and royalty is far too profound for me to comprehend.Give me reasons to trust you.Tell me you’ll guard me with all your heart.Tell me you’ll erase the fear that I’ve been having of falling in love.Assure me that you’re the one I’ve been longing for and I’ll forever be yours.
Check. Your move…

******************

Pretty moving right? I came across this article while I was surfing the net to look for worthy websites with interesting feeds. I was impressed how the author related his, let me say, his lovelife to a game of chess. Pure genius (can I really relate?). My hand salutes whoever wrote this one. :)

Weekend.......I love it!

Love......... for Idiots

This is a Basic Guideline for Love for Idiots written by a Fellow Idiot:

Only you can say what love really is for you, but then maybe I can help you define it by telling you what I believe it is not.

Despite what most people think, love isn't selfless. You don't love for the sake of other people. All emotions are selfish, self-centered. No one can force you to feel anything other than what you really feel. Emotions never lie, people just misinterpret or disregard them.

Love can't be "learned".
You can't "learn to love" someone you don't love. You just delude yourself into liking them.

Love isn't alms.
You don't love someone because you feel sorry for them. That's not love. That's just pity.

Love isn't need.
It's not love when you expect the other person to fill a gap in your life. If that need disappears or is filled by something or someone else, then the supposed "love" disappears too. If you love someone because you want security or happiness or contentment from him or her, you're not going to get those things if they're not within you in the first place.

Love isn't "completion".
You're already complete as you are, you just need to discover and acknowledge it. It's not love if you think you need someone to feel complete. If that feeling doesn't come from you, you're not going to get it anywhere else.

Love isn't just a "feeling". It is both felt and known.
Your emotion and reason must be in sync.

"Love" without reason is just lust or shallow attraction.

"Love" without emotion is simply justification and rationalization.

Love isn't just in the present.
You have to love who that person was and who that person will be.

Love isn't supposed to drive you crazy.
It's not supposed to wreak havoc on your life. It's supposed to inspire you into being the best possible version of yourself.

Insecurities and What Have Yous..........

I am writing this entry past my bedtime so to speak, which is supposed to be at 2pm (normal bedtime for the call center folks like me. Time just flew by again, January just ended and February is passing by us again, fast!

Actually, I am down in the dumps right now...why? I really can't tell. For the past several days, I was very happy. You know, happy, as in high spirits, couldn't help but smile happiness. The one that yousimply can't contain inside you? The one that you feel as if you're (choke!) inlove?!?

Hahaha! Here I am again using that I.L. word again. It's very difficult for me to apply that to myself, but it's the only word that I can think of to describe what I was feeling these past few days, until now of course.
So am I inlove? Well, maybe, maybe not. I'm really not sure to tell you honestly. I am really confused right now regarding that matter, or am I just afraid to admit it? Bummer!

Anyway,I came to work last Wednesday night, feeling so down in the dumps. I really can't pinpoint why. Maybe it's the hormones or something, but one thing's for sure, I am low in the self-esteem department. Normally, I am a very secure person ( well, yeah of course!) I am satisfied with what I am right now but maybe there comes a point in your life where you suddenly just want to wallow in self pity and to scrutinize your faults.

Well, I always thought myself as a boring person. Really! I feel that what I say sometimes is too shallow, when I am just trying to make light conversation, or too dull when I am just trying to speak my mind. Although, my friends ( according to letters, friendster testimonials, and verbal compliments) that they do enjoy talking to me and I was not boring. I just felt that what I am saying is completely uninteresting because I feel that the other person is not really listening. Don't we all want someone to be at least our listening board?

That was actually last week when I was so down in the dumps. That was such a terrible feeling. I even have to go and press personal to go to the ladies' room to vent out (through crying) because an ass hole customer made me more upset than I was feeling back then. My officemates noticed my sudden quietness and my forlorn expression. BUt of course, thanks to some people, they kind of cheered me up through my mid life crisis (that's what I referred my situation last week). I was able to get over it by Friday morning. I am now back to my self old confident self! (unfortunately for me my skin is breaking out and I have this huge zit on my forehead, that is painful, and red...ewww! its because of this treatment cream that I am using. Sure is slow before I can see the results!).

I am just going to continue this next time...in time for Valentine's maybe. Right now, people's morale are low in the office and I could not help but feel sad as well. It's kind of sad to think that this dream job, this job where the work seem like just a big play, will about to end all of a sudden. I don't want it to end. Atleast not yet. :( To be continued.....................